20 Jun Day 20: A lot of talking

Lauren knew I needed help, she’d spoken to a counsellor to get me help, spoken to my family for support, I’m not getting any better. Trudy (my aunt) was staying in a cottage for a week near me and wanted to come and see me. We went out for lunch, I told her what was going on, I had dark bags under my eyes from the sheer lack of sleep and I was already relying on alcohol to get me through what was going on. 

Later today I also had my doctor’s appointment, this was my first diagnosis – PTSD. I had been through a trauma and I had completely shut down. I’ve been prescribed sleeping tablets that I was told would knock me out at night, so I’m looking forward to get a good night’s sleep. I’ve been signed off from work for 2 weeks to recover from the stress, I’m in 2 minds whether this will be good for me or not. Letting my thoughts drift could be a bad thing. 

I get home, have dinner, go to bed and take my tablets.